So, why am I writing this blog? I guess I’m writing it for a couple of reason. Number one…my friends say I do a pretty good job of writing. Personally I think I’m not a writer at all, but a guy that knows how to put his thoughts down in a clear and concise manner. Number two…I think this is a good way to purge my soul of all the shit I’ve done and thought about doing. Hopefully for me it will be cathartic and for you (especially the women readers) enlightening or at the very least mildly amusing.
I’m a good guy and if you ask most of my friends about me they’ll tell you the same, but like most men I’ve done some pretty foul things in my life. What do I consider foul? Lying, cheating, stealing…you know, shit like that. Now don’t go getting the wrong idea, I’m not a crook or a conman or any of those things. I’m talking about the little lies that men tell that seem harmless enough…lies like, “No, I wasn’t checking her out.” When he knows good and well he was looking directly at her lovely, tight ass. I’ll get into what that means later, but for right now let’s just say I’m the average guy, nothing more…nothing less.
Now guys don’t get pissed off at me for this confessional that I’m making of the entire species. Not EVERY man has a secret life. Some men are genuine, upright, and salt of the earth guys that have never done a dirty deed in their entire life. I applaud you guys…but for everyone that hasn’t reached Sainthood yet, this blog is for and about us.
So, let’s get started.
Why we do what we do
The honest answer is I have no fucking idea! I’m sure some socio-Anthropologist (is there such a person?) would say it relates back to our primitive days when we were “hunter/gatherers” and we had to protect our clan. Well, that may be the psycho-socio reason why and I have to admit I have felt pretty primitive during some of my sexual encounters, but come on; we’re talking about stuff that happened millions of years ago. How could that have carried over into the cesspool we call our DNA? Ok, maybe I do have an idea; well at least I have this theory…some people say men do everything they do in order to get sex. Well, that may be partially true. Sex is very important to us, but I think it goes deeper that that. I think we ONLY do the things we truly, and I mean TRULY want to do. Ok, let me explain. There are no accidents. I didn’t accidentally cheat on my spouses (both of them). I WANTED to do it or guess what? It would have never happened! What I’m saying is no matter the situation, you can always say NO, you are always in control…even if it is life or death related you are in control. Men, in general are not good at saying no, unless saying no benefits them in some way. We secretly, always want whatever we do to benefit us somehow.
Here’s a good example, a guy that’s been married for 14 years, happily married for 14 years, goes out and buys his wife a beautiful pearl necklace. Now it doesn’t matter what economic bracket you’re in and the necklace could have cost $100 or $100,000. What matters is he feels she deserves it, and she probably does. She’s been a good wife to him and a great mother to his kids, and he HONESTLY feels she’s deserving of this special gift. So, he brings it home in hopes that she’ll love it and feel special, right? Partially right, he does bring it home in hopes that she’ll love it. As a matter of fact, he hopes that she’ll love it so much that she’ll give him the best blowjob he’s had in six years, hell since they’ve been married!! And, if she really loves it, maybe he’ll get that special treat reserved for birthdays and Father’s Day…that’s right, anal sex! (Men, you can applaud or high five each other here) Oh, that is so fucking rude you say! BULLSHIT! What’s rude is that we, men, fool ourselves into thinking that we don’t want to be reciprocated for what we do. If this guy didn’t get laid that night, trust me he was pissed off. He may have never said anything to his spouse, but he was secretly hoping to get some ass that night.
Am I saying its right? It’s not my place to judge, my last name isn’t Mathis; I’m just telling you what’s really going through our twisted little brains.
